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Doing 'what works'...for you

Your past does not equal your future, but your past successes (however brief) will give you important clues to how you should proceed in the future towards your preferred future. Each one of us operate in a unique psychosocial environment, that is, there is no one who knows your life better than you, the ball is well and truly in your court.

I see the life coaches role similar to that the elite tennis players coach, that is, they are not there to tell you how to hit the ball, but rather their role is to help their player recognise 'what works'. The same can be said in our everyday life, that is the life coaches role is to help you recognise 'what works' for you. This is easier said than done, primarily because being self aware enough to successfully reflect and unpick our lives is no easy task. This is where the coaches expertise can come in, in particular this is where the coaches ability to ask good questions. It is therefore through the process of hearing oneself and stress testing ones own thinking that one begins to become aware of ones own unique solutions.

Once you are aware of these unique strategies one can then organise things in such a way to enable them to occur more often. It will also make one more sensitive to how 'what works' situations are initiated and how they develop into something that moves you towards your preferred future. Being conscious is important here because 'what works' is not always obvious.

Being more conscious doesn't require effort, but rather a broad awareness of how you observe things changing as a consequence of your actions and interactions. These can be small, brief and almost insignificant (at the time), but upon reflection and closer examination they were your unique solutions. These unique solutions then act as sign posts to how you can move your life towards your preferred future.

To help this process you can ask yourself some daily questions, such as:

  • What went well for me today?

  • What did I notice about myself during these moments?

  • What did I notice about how other people behaved during these moments?

Keep noticing 'what works' and soon life will work for you the way you would like more often.


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